A Body Sans Allegience

I don't have allegiance to anything or anyone here in Spain.

This may sound sad to some of you, like a body without a purpose, perhaps? Well no. I have purpose, and it's purely egotistical. How beautiful it is to be able to fulfill one's ego each day. I can do whatever I want, be whatever I want (do take into consideration, however, that I still have to pay credit card bills and am a subject to schedules of grocery stores, markets, and the bank because, after all, I exist in society).

I can play a different role every day, "matizando la existencia" (tweaking the existence).

I am not a tourist, but a vagabond. I can make any place home because without allegiance to anything, everything is the same. Without allegiance, you become more objective, more rational? Pragmatism makes your decisions for you while Allegiance is at home in the United States, in Illinois, freezing its ass off and playing with Boubacar.

This is not to say that I don't have any feeling. That would be completely untrue. Every place I go has a distinct aura, and that aura evokes feeling. I take in that feeling, listen to what it has to offer, and afterward we go our separate ways. Feelings are only house guests but allegiance is the bed that you sleep on.

I thought allegiance and feeling were connected, somehow subordinate of each other's existence. They're not. You can have one without the other, which is a beautiful thing.

Yet with everything, even freedom, there is a price. Todo se paga en la vida. To have complete freedom, you have to be alone.

"Solo solo somos libres." - garage door graffiti