His name would be Sid.
Sid resides in/terrorizes the Cantabria because he enjoys the moderate climate and the tourists that the beaches bring in. He aspires to move to the United States where the people are more meaty (the more meaty the victim, the finer the web) but he can't speak English, so as a villain he'd be marginalized. That is, Sid would be shunned by his fellow villains from killing the top-notch fatty victims. He would have to rely solely upon killing muscular athletes and hard-shelled animals to make his web (which would turn out rather tweed-like from the muscle fibers and rockiness of the shells). Thus, terrorizing Spain and parts of Portugal suits Sid. As a native Spanish speaker with a scary villain name (remember that Sid is only a nickname used cover up his given name which is probably something too biblical to suit his line of work), Sid dominates the peninsula. He likes being the big man in town.
Sid murders his victims by standing over them and then enrapturing them with his spindly legs. Before descending his body upon your soon-to-be corpse, this is what you would see.
At least your last view of Earth before Sid incorporated you into his web would be a lovely view of the sky in Spain's Basque Country.
Don't worry though... You weren't the first one that Sid killed, and certainly will not be the last. He has the entire city of Bilbao (and quite possibly San Sebastian) to conquer before his web is complete.
Images taken at the Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, Spain.
2 comments:
You should write a poem about Sid the Arachnid. Hope you're doing well kid. Take care of yourself.
There once was a precocious young arachnid named Sid,
Who went to a fancy smancy Sotheby's art auction to bid,
On some wannabe fauvist art inspired by Matisse's wayward id,
When Sid raised his leg to bid 10 quid on a vivid, painterly jelly jar lid,
The auctioneer became livid and said, "We take bids only from squids... besides you're just a kid!"
"Get out now and stop pretending to be a grown-up artsy fartsy squid!"
"Heaven forbid that we would ever do business with an underage arachnid kid!"
So a sad Sid went to Madrid and hid because he was truly ashamed of what he almost did.
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